I’m delighted to be a guest of the Pundit Roundtable today at Willisms.com. The topic is port security. The Pundit Roundtable is a weekly feature at Willisms.com; you can catch it every Sunday afternoon, in lieu of watching the usual talking heads at Meet the Press, Face the Nation or This Week with George Snuffalupogous. Highly recommend.

Juan Pierre - I want him to do well. I’m excited that he might offer the Cubs some much-needed speed on the bases, some strength at the plate and some defense in the field. But COME ON PEOPLE, he’s not the Lord and Savior of mankind.

“He’s a game changer,” Lee said of Pierre.

Lee would know. The two were teammates together in Florida, and both have World Series rings from the 2003 season. Lee won the National League batting title last season and produced monster stats. But the Cubs’ leadoff hitters had a .299 on-base percentage and combined to score 83 runs. Imagine if Pierre was batting ahead of Lee last year.

Wow, so difficult to imagine, I just don’t know if I can do it:

Juan Pierre’s 2005 on-base percentage - .326
Jerry Hairston, Jr’s 2005 on-base percentage - .336
Ronny Cedeno’s 2005 on-base percentage - .356

We didn’t need Juan Pierre. We needed Moises Alou, Mark Grudzielanek and Matt Clement.

Here’s an update on “Memphis’ third terror suspect.”

CNN’s top story right now is its own coverage (CNN and TIME are part of the same company) of a week-old story.

The text may as well read like this:

For an entire week, we’ve been making much ado about nothing, and it has gone on for so long that we find it newsworthy that we’ve been covering it for that long. This of course will lead to more coverage, followed by criticism from the Administration, blogs and talk radio, leading to yet more coverage of the coverage of the coverage. By the time we finish covering the coverage of the criticism of the coverage of the criticism of the coverage of the coverage, President Bush will no longer be in office. Yipee!

I think she’s listening to the Fishkite podcast. Details here and here.

We also covered the birth of Anna Kate, but that was before the big crash of ‘05 so her picture was one that fell through the worm hole.

BY MICHAEL KUNZELMAN

WAVELAND, Miss. — In a city reduced to rubble by Hurricane Katrina, John King and Chris Johnson have formed an unlikely friendship at the uneasy intersection of church and state.

King led Pennsylvania Amish volunteers to Mississippi just days after the storm hit to help clear debris. Johnson, the city’s parks and recreation director, was one of the first people he met in Waveland.

Now, with the parks in ruins and little time for recreation, Johnson spends his days working alongside King and his fellow Amish, who are gutting and rebuilding hundreds of homes. “It has changed our lives,” said Johnson, 47. “If it weren’t for the faith-based groups helping out, the city of Waveland would be half the size it is now.”

It continues - a fantastic read.

Let’s go back, shall we, to the Burnitz trade discussed earlier. Now that it’s illegal to use MLB’s intellectual property (player statistics) without its expressed written consent and a cleared check for millions of dollars, I’m reluctant to make the point myself, but I can quote the Chicago Tribune:

Mystery man: Last summer the pressure was on Burnitz to replace Sammy Sosa’s numbers in right field. This summer, the pressure will be on (Jacque) Jones to replace Burnitz’s numbers (.258, 24 HR, 87 RBIs). With the Twins, Jones hit .249 with 23 homers and 73 RBIs but struck out more times (120-109) than Burnitz. He has been productive in the past (24 HR, 80 RBIs in 2004) so the Cubs are hoping a change of scenery will do him good.

I rest my case — Burnitz may be a “windmill,” but Jones is even worse.

Ok, to heck with the law. Burnitz did replace Sosa’s numbers at right:

2004 (Sosa) - .253, 35 HR, 80 RBIs, 133 Strikeouts
2005 (Burnitz) - .258, 24 HR, 87 RBIs, 109 Strikeouts

***

I contend that the Cubs have made a series of bad trades, Sosa being the exception.

Good players, great players and rising stars that should not have been traded or released include: Moises Alou, Matt Clement, Mark Grudzielanek and Sergio Mitre.

They said Clement wanted too much money, but we paid Nomar to do nothing.

It’s pretty much the same story all around. Let’s look at left field, for example.

In 2004, Moises Alou batted .293, with 39 HR, 106 RBI and 80 Strikeouts.

Alou wanted to stay, but in 2005 the Cubs let him go, opting instead for a combination of Todd Hollandsworth, Jason Dubois, Jody Gerut and Matt Murton. With the exception of Murton, a rising star the Cubs still don’t fully trust as a starter, the results of this decision were pathetic:

2005 Alou - .321, 19 HR, 63 RBI, 43 Strikeouts
2005 Hollandsworth - .254, 5 HR, 35 RBI, 53 Strikeouts
2005 Dubois - .239, 7 HR, 22 RBI, 49 Strikeouts
2005 Gerut - .071, 0 HR, 0 RBI, 3 Strikeouts
2005 Murton - .321, 7 HR, 14 RBI, 22 Strikeouts

***

This season, while everyone else is watching short (to compare Neifi with the much-vaunted Nomar), I’m going to be monitoring the following matchups:

Sergio Mitre vs. Wade Miller
Jeromy Burnitz vs. Jacque Jones
Mark Grudzielanek vs. Todd Walker
Matt Clement vs. Jerome Williams

I’m also going to be looking for the promised dramatic improvements in leadoff hits, stolen bases and successful bunts, which are supposed to be provided by speedy newcomers Jones and Juan Pierre. I’ve said such numbers could have been achieved with existing players if we had just implemented a more consistent batting order and starting roster.

***

Overall, I have low expectations for all those previously mentioned, plus John Mabry, Jerry Hairston and most of the bullpen.

On the other hand, I must say that I’m very happy with Derek Lee, Carlos Zambrano and Michael Barrett. I’m cautiously optimistic about Mark Prior, Aramis Ramirez, Greg Maddux, Glendon Rusch and Neifi Perez, and I’m still holding out hope for Kerry Wood. I would also like to see more good things out of Matt Murton, Ronny Cedeno, Henry Blanco and Ryan Dempster.

Go Cubs.

Glenn Reynolds has written a book called An Army of Davids: How Markets and Technology Empower the Little Guy to Beat Big Media, Big Government, and Other Goliaths.

I don’t think Mr. Reynolds is a religious person, but he uses the familiar story from I Samuel 17 as a launching point for his thesis. The power behind his David(s) isn’t God; instead, “markets and technology” allow the little guy(s) to overcome the giant(s).

He’s replaced God with a computer.

***

This was David’s speech to Goliath:

“You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

***

I haven’t seen any Christians upset about the artistic liberties taken by Reynolds, have you?

***

Perhaps because we really have confused Mark with Marketing?

***

I’ve said the problem with the activity of those at the Coretta Scott King memorial was a failure of decorum.

It’s considered bad practice to needlessly dishonor the dead, and turning somebody’s funeral into a forum for pathetic political cheapshots is one way to do that.

Of course, it isn’t illegal. You won’t go to jail. One beautiful thing about our country is that you can be an offensive idiot and suffer no real consequences for it, and perhaps even benefit. Our freedom of speech is protected by the Constitution, and for the most part we can say whatever we want.

***

Another way you can dishonor the dead is to draw offensive cartoons of them.

I’m not sure how well freedom of speech is protected in Denmark, but the pressure is rising in Europe.

In fact, the heat is on worldwide. Lots of people are angry that some cartoonists have dishonored a dead man they revere, and the news media worldwide is afraid to fan the flames.

As our own Wendi Thomas asks, why needlessly offend?

***

What the Danish newspaper should have done is criticize the living, rather than the dead. The protestors are showing themselves to be exactly the kind of characters these cartoons portray. Why pull a dead man into it, even if he did launch their religion?

***

It’s like blaming Jesus for the sins of Pat Robertson.

***

Well, come to think of it, I guess he has taken on all of our sins…

***

Christians are less prone to take offense at these things, I think, because we serve a living God, and we’re saved by a living Christ. We know that the Lord lives, and he will defend himself.

***

But we don’t always remember that, of course. Sometimes we get upset about petty slights, like with “The Book of Daniel” or Chris Olifi’s “The Holy Virgin Mary.”

But as someone who defended Olifi’s artwork back then, I think I’m speaking with some credibility now when I say the nutjobs are stuck on stupid again.

***

The Islamofascists are a huge target for satire.

You might say that the suicide bombers are such a rich target that they can’t help but target themselves.

But now we’re afraid to offend them. We can’t make movies featuring the bad guys as bad guys.

That would be insensitive.

***

But by all means let’s put Kanye West in a crown of thorns on the cover of Rolling Stone.

***

“George Bush hates black people.”

Thus it was spoken during a telethon for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Another example of lack of decorum.

***

I don’t think Wendi Thomas realizes how easy it is to offend the followers of Islam.

Many Muslims believe that Islam prohibits depicting the prophet Muhammad or arts depicting humans or animals; much Islamic art is decorative calligraphy or arabesque.

Say goodbye to Garfield, Dilbert, Family Circus, B.C., and the rest of the comics page.

Say goodbye to editorial cartoons.

Say goodbye to most art.

***

Unless…

Maybe such art isn’t so offensive afterall.

***

Maybe we should be more concerned about protecting our freedoms, rather than worrying about the feelings of those prone to violent protests.

***

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go make an effigy of Glenn Reynolds.

***

But not because he’s offended my religious values.

***

It’s just a celebration of my artisitic freedom.

This whole Danish/Muslim cartoon thing is really taking me back…

Like in middle school, when my friend Matt got in trouble for drawing a cartoon of Saddam Hussein. It was 1990 or 1991, and we were at war with… Iraq. I never saw his drawing, but I think it had a bomb dropping on Saddam’s head or perhaps a note saying “I hate Saddam Hussein” or something. Whatever it was, Matt got in trouble for drawing the cartoon because we had a teacher at the school whose name was… Saddam Hussein. The idiot lady who saw it and was offended thought that Matt was referring to this teacher, rather than our beloved former dictator in Iraq. Sigh.

It also reminds me of a retarded discussion we came up with in college about various cartoon characters walking across the stage one final time before their impending death off-stage. The question was, for which cartoon characters do you offer a standing ovation as a show of gratitude for the entertainment they provided you all these years.

In fact, we still have this discussion from time to time. It’s a serious matter, you see. People are serious about cartoons.

Here’s a second drink from the water cooler. Names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent.

Beth (Carol’s gradeschool-age daughter): What are you doing tonight?

Sara: We’re going dancing.

Beth: Is my mom going with you?

Sara: I don’t think she dances.

Beth: She does at home!

Sara: Really? She always tells us that she doesn’t like to dance!

Beth: I’m just kidding!

Sara: Oh, ok. Well, what kind of music does your mom like to listen to?

Beth: Um, like, the news.