cornholio.jpgI don’t know why people are getting so worked up about embattled singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow’s anal-retentive cure for Goreal Warming. Clearly, this is just a great opportunity for some enterprising entrepreneur to create cloth mesh toilet paper. For our bungholes.

UPDATE: While we’re still on the topic, I thought I’d go ahead and slip you one more idea I’ve been thinking about. Instead of substituting illegal plastic shopping bags with cloth mesh bags (now featuring store logos!!!), there ought to be a law requiring San Francisco residents to carry everything around in large baskets on their heads. This method seems to work in parts of Asia, Africa, the Middle East and Mexico. And since San Francisco has now rededicated itself as a “sanctuary city” for illegal immigrants, the trend will be increasingly easy to adopt.

basket-head.jpg

Also, that would free up our strategic mesh reserve for production of recyclable cloth condoms that could be used in place of the disposable plastic ones.