simons-function.jpg

…that once upon a time:

      I dyed and bleached my hair regularly.

      I considered myself a “Christian punk.”

      I taught myself how to play guitar by reading Green Day tabs.

      I was in a band called Simon’s Function.

      While being honored by the Kiwanis Club, I was asked by the host, “What is Simon’s Function?”

      “I don’t know,” came my reply, to uproarious laughter (unexpected by me).

      I was one of the only openly conservative, pro-life, Republican kids at my high school.

      I was the ONLY kid as described above who also wore Hole t-shirts and painted his fingernails black.

      I was elected Senior Class Vice President instead of a popular cheerleader.

      I regretted winning after she was hurt in a serious car accident (she’s fine now).

      I was involved with the swim team, the debate team, the student newspaper and the art club, and yet I still felt isolated and alone most of the time.

      I lived in a black neighborhood, in a little house that officially cost us $1 through a government assistance program (though we were responsible for fixing it up).

      My step-dad at the time was a paraplegic man who could only speak in grunts and growls (and yet we still understood him).

You learn something new every day.