Responding to federal smog guidelines, the Shelby County Health Department is preparing suburban mayors for a coming expansion of the “time-consuming vehicle-emissions inspections” already required in the city of Memphis.

Technical Manager for Pollution Control Bob Rodgers said the department feels “very strongly that we’re going to have to expand the I & M program,” despite the fact that it won’t reduce pollution by a “significant percentage.”

The CA reports that regulators have “acknowledged the limited usefulness of testing cars in the suburbs,” since “fuels required today” are “cleaner-burning” and newer cars come equipped with computerized diagnostics.

Bartlett Mayor Keith McDonald says, “We’ll do it because we’re supposed to do it — not because we think it’s the smartest idea.” Let’s all hope the EPA never tells us to jump off a bridge, although by just going ahead and offing ourselves right now we could probably reduce our carbon footprint… by a “significant percentage.”

The expanded testing is a consequence of the Memphis area’s new status as a “moderate” violator of Clean Air Act standards for ozone pollution, stepping up from the “marginal” violator classification. But the EPA has yet to explain how it’s even possible that smog in Memphis has increased, since the city’s vehicle inspection program has been working so very well.

I love the exasperation in the comment by Midtowner: “Great — that’s all I need, more cars to get behind in the inspection line. I wonder how much pollution is being put into the air by all the cars in line? Testing is such an enormous waste of time.”

At least the EPA is justifying its existence, and that’s something we can all be proud of.

UPDATE: A follow-up story reveals a more heroic Mayor McDonald:

“This is something I’ve been fighting for six years,” Bartlett Mayor Keith McDonald said. “If the EPA forces us to do it, I just can’t beat them, even though I’ve shown them over and over again that a (reduction from testing the suburbs) will not produce the scientific results that other things do.”

The requirement wouldn’t force outlying residents to drive to one of three Memphis testing stations. A vendor might be hired to operate locations countywide. McDonald would like other services available, such as tag renewals, making a trip to the testing site more efficient for citizens. He’s heard the position that Memphians suffer through testing, so everyone should.

“Nobody should have to suffer,” McDonald said. “We need to find a way to make this work more conveniently.”

UPDATE II: The CA’s reliably-liberal editorial page calls the expanded testing requirement a “fair clean-air option,” while again noting that “the inspections won’t make a significant percentage cut in ozone-causing pollutants.” I think it would be fair to require the Commercial Appeal to stop killing trees; I suggest we implement a regular inspection process to make sure they’re printing on a more environmentally-friendly resource.