Tonight’s bottom three:

Carly Simon, Hair Curtains, and Big Sky Barbie.

Results

(more…)

Carly Simon

Tonight: “Jolene.” Not bad, but it doesn’t really showcase her voice very well.

Randy: Not stellar, but it was all right.
Paula: You are who you are.
Simon: It lacked emotion.

Final take: Meh.

David Cook (nice haircut; he’s not combover guy anymore)

Tonight: “Little Sparrow.” Someone had better sing “9 to 5″ or “Islands in the Stream,” or I’m not going to know any of these songs. This one sounds decent, but I have no frame of reference.

Randy: Very cool. Another hot, consistent performance.
Paula: Nice haircut! Fantastic performance.
Simon: Not as good as last week, but congratulations.

Final take: He’s not going anywhere.

Hair Curtains

Tonight: “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?” I don’t even know the song, but I can tell she’s having major pitch issues. She has confidence issues, too.

(more…)

Tonight’s bottom three:

Baby Syesha, Boston Public, and Captain Stinkyhair. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

Results (more…)

Theme: Songs From Their Birth Years

Hair Curtains

Birth year: 1987
Tonight: “Alone.” She’s having major pitch problems, and she looks like she’s up there because she has to be, not because it’s fun.

Randy: Wrong song choice. Too big for you, too pitchy.
Paula: I’m glad America has heard you sing before. You were brave. (read: that sucked)
Simon: It wasn’t as appalling as last week.

Final take: She should be in the bottom three.

Captain Stinkyhair

Birth year: 1987
Tonight: “Fragile.” Good adjective to describe his voice. This sucks, but I think it might actually be decent if he slowed it down. The guitar is very amateurish and all over the place. Is there a point to singing half the song in Spanish?

Randy: Good song, but it didn’t do much vocally for you.
Paula: It was true to who you are, but there was no “wow” factor.
Simon: It’s time for you to take this more seriously.

Final take: I’m fairly certain he smokes a lot of weed.

Baby Imitator (Yes, we know you can do the baby sound. Please stop now.)

Birth year: 1987 (more…)

Tonight’s bottom three:

Carly Smithson. Somebody get Al Gore’s lawyers on the phone–I demand a recount.
Kristy Lee Cook. No surprise there.
Amanda Overmeyer: Please let it be her. Please.

Results (more…)

Beatles Week Redux

Sorry I missed last week; I was out of town on business, and by the time I got back and caught up on AI it was old news. Shame, as I would have relished writing about the abomination that was “Eight Days a Week” done as a country song.

Elvira, Mistress of the Suck

Most memorable moment: Playing on the big stage.

Tonight: “Back in the U.S.S.R.” 2 straight weeks of Beatles songs and she never chose “Helter Skelter”? Forgot the words in the first line, other than that the rest of the lyrics were screamed correctly.

Randy: Pitchy in the beginning, but picked up in the middle. 7 out of 10.
Paula: Sketchy at first, weren’t hearing the timing. When you connect, you’re authentic. I’d love to hear a vulnerable ballad from you at some point. (is she kidding?)
Simon: It was what it was. Predictable, a mess in parts.

Final take: Can we please vote her off before she sings that ballad? Please?

Big Sky Barbie

Most memorable moment: Being the last one not voted off each night.

Tonight: “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away.” This is a hard song to sing, but she’s making it easier by singing it wrong. Maybe she’ll do better on Monkees night.

Randy: Should have been more emotional. I’m not even sure you were singing the melody in the chorus right. (that’s because she wasn’t…)
Paula: Sometimes it’s safer to stick to the melody. You look gorgeous tonight.
Simon: You need hypnosis, because you’re not a good performer. It’s like musical wallpaper. You make no impact apart from when you’re terrible, like last week.

Final take: At least she’s pretty.

Raspy McVocalchords

Most memorable moment: Singing “Imagine”, forgetting his lyrics on “We Can Work It Out”. (more…)

Kady Malloy:  We will miss your hotness.

Asia’h Epperson:  We will miss your apostrophe.

Danny Noriega:  We will miss your attitude.

Luke Menard:  He got voted off tonight too.

I’ve kinda sorta sworn off AI blogging, at least for the time-being, but guest-blogger Popfly has provided tonight’s recap; you can blame him for what follows. - M. Wright

80’s Week.

AsiaaspostropheH

Most embarrassing moment: Extra in a roller skating movie, crashed into a light set.

Tonight: “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” Not bad. Her singing was better than her choice of pants.

Randy: I recorded with Whitney Houston. It was hot!
Paula: You nailed it.
Simon: 2nd rate Whitney Houston at best, but good enough to make the top 12.

Final take: I agree with Simon.

Britney Pickler

Most embarrassing moment: 9th grade talent show audition. I would have guessed her answer would be “last week.”

Tonight: Queen’s “Who Wants to Live Forever?” Why in the world would she try to sing Freddie Mercury? She’s making a good song boring.

Randy: You hit the big notes well, missed some of the smaller ones.
Paula: Your best performance to date.
Simon: Better than last week, but still have issues with your massive lack of personality.

Final take: She only made it this far because she’s hot.

Elvira, Mistress of the Suck

Most embarrassing moment: burned her pool down. (more…)

Sent packing tonight… (more…)

The Baltimore Sun blog Reality Check is doing a much better job than I am summarizing the show, and it also covers Big Brother and other reality shows.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution’s American Idol Blog rates performers on the grade scale.

The Seattle PI’s Sharp Stick blog has some hilarious photoshops and this interesting bombshell: “YES, as confirmed by my behind-the-scenes AI contact, the performance shows at this point in the competition ARE pre-taped. Currently, the boys are singing for their supper on Saturday, the girls on Sunday. Do I think some transparency of this fact would have been appreciated by the general populus [sic] before Joanne’s tongue trippage?”

American.Idolblog.com has links to the original songs on iTunes, the number to call to help your favorite contestant, and photos.

AI - I’m the One That You Want has lots of pictures and videos along with a recap.

The phillyBurbs American Idol blog provides lots of commentary and ranks the contestants in order.

The Snark Raving Mad blog is a million times more… snarky.

USA Today’s Idol Chatter blog is rather snooze-worthy.