Eden was uncharacteristically chilled, but Freckles was very concerned about the new washer and dryer. She didn’t want to walk anywhere near them, though she had to pass by them to get to her crate. So she would race by quickly, as tight against the far wall as possible.

Anna and Abby recreate this photo.

The secret to temporary peace is exhaustion; the wall-to-wall water bowls plan isn’t feasible.

Eden and Freckles dressed as insects.

My first, lame attempt at carving a pumpkin. With apologies to President Lincoln.

Eden got muddy this morning.

Freckles did, too.

A Freckles close-up.

Eden resting under the coffee table. Note chew marks on furniture.

Freckles, master of her domain.

A rare moment of cease-fire.

Eden sulking with a “gentle leader” harness on (not a Hannibal Lecter mask — this one stops them from pulling on the leash). She won’t move with that thing on, she’ll just roll over and let you drag her through the yard.

Freckles tells Eden it’s going to be ok. Freckles does great when she has it on, btw.

The puppies tackle me.

I mentioned earlier that Eden and Freckles were graduating from puppy school. Here is Eden wearing her mortarboard.

Here’s Freckles with our excellent instructor, Nick. He taught them to “roll over” on their last day.

UPDATE: Chris Davis takes issue with this photograph, saying I “toss[ed] the star spangled banner to [my] hound.” It’s actually a little decorative flag that was planted by the sidewalk, cut down the landscaping service hired by our apartment complex, and picked up yesterday morning by one of my Cocker Spaniel puppies. I thought it was endearing that she rescued the little flag on the anniversary of 9/11, so I took a photo. That aside, I welcome Davis’ newfound respect for Old Glory, particularly given the way he commemorated the anniversary of 9/11 with a sick photo that mocks the WTC victims. I think I need to start referring to his blog as Mos Eisley; it’s easily the most wretched hive of scum and villainy I’ve ever encountered.

Eden and Freckles are getting ready to graduate from puppy school. When they’re locked in and focused on commands, nothing can distract them. Not even Carl Levin.

Taking care of two puppies requires superhuman strength and agility. Thankfully, I’m naturally blessed with both. But what I don’t have are eight additional hands, which are another requirement for the job. Therefore, I’ve devised a utility belt to store all my special weapons, freeing up my hands for leashes. Should you ever find yourself in my predicament, take note:

1. Poop bags. Never leave home without ‘em. Unless you’re that guy. You know who you are.

2. A training clicker, which can substitute for praise or treats. We’ve never really used this because we haven’t had a place to keep it, or a free hand with which to click it. But it may come in handy if you find yourself in certain remote, tribal regions and are having trouble with the dialect.

3. Treat bag. Unless you’re equipped with an abundant supply of treats, the puppies will roll their beady little eyes and scoff at your commands. They may even pick a really embarrassing and inconvenient place to poop, out of spite.

4. Shark repellent. I’m pretty sure you don’t really need this for training puppies, but no decent utility belt comes without it.

5. Spray bottle. Honestly, it doesn’t really work, but at least it’ll give you something to do while the puppies are barking like crazy and/or killing each other. Hold on to that false sense of security for as long as you possibly can.

A future version of this belt may also include a secret compartment for cyanide pills. Hint: it’s not for the dogs.

This little fella (and the colony of fleas living in his hair) wandered into our lives on Saturday. He had no tags or collar, and the Humane Society found no microchip on him, so we’re not sure who the owner is. Following with our alphabetical system, we’ve bestowed him with the temporary name George. We’re not sure what breed George is, unless he’s an Ewok or miniature Wookie. Thanks to Linda at Dogs 2nd Chance Rescue, George is no longer shacking up in our breezeway, though Eden and Freckles did enjoy him being around. He’s a sweet, friendly dog. If you recognize him, please contact 2nd Chance, or leave a comment here.